Clarky here. Today we have a guest article from “M. Mraz”, which I can only assume is short for Mortimor. He, like many in evil C-ville, are on the prowl for the hottest jobs in the area. Results have been…mixed. He would like to enlighten some of you today on his findings.
Article by M. Mraz:
Looking for a job? Does the man got you by the throat? Don’t worry, in Clarksville we all have to help each other and today I’m helping you. In these harsh economic times Clarksville job opportunities are slim pickings. You can join the Military, work for Sears, or maybe one better, work for the evil Convergys. But there are other gems out there–otther avenues that you haven’t explored yet.
Where do you look for jobs in Clarksville? Well you can try the Leaf Chronicle, but they’ll fail you. Your best bet is Craigslist.org, or Indeed.com.
Here are some examples of some great jobs in Clarksville:
Clarksville, TN 37042
Occasional (as needed)
I am looking for someone to give my house a good cleaning before my husband returns from Afghanistan. I mainly need a good once over on the bathrooms, walls and baseboards. Also we’re PCS-ing (moving) in September and will probably be looking for someone to help us out again then. If you’re interested, please let me know.
Services Needed: Bathroom Cleaning, Kitchen Cleaning, Window Washing
$5 – $15 per hour
Ideal Provider Qualifications:
Does not provide cleaning supplies(detergents, etc)
Does not provide equipments(vacuum, etc)
Apparently this lazy bitch needs help. She can’t even handle cleaning a bathroom. But you’re in luck. Cleaning this bathroom will make you want commit suicide and end your miserable little life. But hey you need work so there you go. You’ll have to provide your own equipment, because this bitch doesn’t own any. You can clean all her used up dildos, if you’re in that sort of thing. Thanks Indeed.com for this gem. (http://www.care.com/housekeeping-job-house-cleaning-p1061-q5221771.html#utm_content=&utm_medium=online&utm_campaign=provider_housekeeper&utm_source=feed&utm_term=indeed&)
Now Craigslist never fails on failing. One of the gems I found is below. I’m the wrong sex so I’m yet again not qualified for something I love doing.
Ladies wanted for erotic film
Looking for women from 18-40 to shoot for erotic film.
This is at a non-profit organization.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
I’m reading this and I’m saying to myself “WTF”. If you’re a chick, and willing to screw for money wouldn’t you want more than a dolla? Guessing these guys think that non-profit also entails semi-free sex on video. At least it’s not prostitution. Or is it? (http://clarksville.craigslist.org/tfr/2293884813.html)
Thanks Clarksville for keeping everyone unemployed!