Editor’s Note:
Clarky here. Here’s a guest article today from “The Doctor”. He has an interesting find concerning Clarksville on Facebook. Enjoy!

By The Doctor

I was busy perusing the internet today and whilst on facebook came across an ad that popped up on the right side of my facebook page. Normally I ignore these but this one I had to click. The title was “Clarksville Bucket List”. A Bucket list, for those of you that don’t know or hate Morgan Freeman, is a list of things to do before you die.

So I was eager to know. Is this a list of things to do in Clarksville before you die. Or possibly, a list of things Clarksville needs to do before it dies. Or maybe things Clarksvillians suggest to do before Clarksville kills them.

Turns out the information is just hysterical.
It looks like they only made it up to number 5 before they gave up but here is the list. This is all real.

1. Grab some friends and check out one of the many races at the Speedway. Fair week’s coming up too!

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A fine idea. I’ve been to the speedway. It is a lot of fun. Except for the ear piercing motors, the alcohol smell in the air (from the cars not the stands), and the mud being flung through chicken wire at 75 miles per hour.
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2. For some great food, check out Cafe Ameno. It’s one of our new favorites.
• Have you been here?? What do you think about it?
  June 4, 2010 at 1:29pm · Share

• Ray Morris Where is it located?
  June 21, 2010 at 8:33pm

• Christel Brown It’s on Madison St and looks like a nice place for coffee.
  June 26, 2010 at 9:37pm

• Eileen Benson Is this place closed?
  April 14 at 8:17am

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I think those three lines pretty much sum up Clarksville to a T.
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3. Get teh best deals around with 50% off your favorite local hot spots.
Click the cupcake to check it out..
Clarksville 1-Day Deals
livingsocial.com
Click the cupcake to start getting your deals…
June 8, 2010 at 2:35pm · Share
Clarksville Bucket List – Things To Do in Clarksville Before You Die Deals coming soon… what restaurants should be first for 50% off??
June 8, 2010 at 2:46pm

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You can see the desperation starting to take hold. Even the people that are creating the bucket list can’t come up with a good place to eat in Clarksville. Plus whenever I misspell “the” it’s either because I’m drunk or delusional. Oh yeah and cupcakes? That’s the hotspot?
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4. What are we missing? First, like the page above and then post your responses as comments. We’ll blast the best ones out to the group…
Where are you guys from??? Shout out your neighborhood…

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WEST-SIDE! The desperation has now gone to another level.
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and finally!

5. The next item on our list is to visit Beachaven Vineyards and Winery. This picturesque place is home to Tennessee’s premier commercial wineries and it always makes a wonderful trip. With free tours and tastings, this is bound to be a great time. Have you been? Let us know!

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They have gone the route of most Clarksvillians… nothing to do in this town might as well get shitfaced. I don’t blame them.
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The next few posts talk about how the site is shutting down and going into hibernation. Hopefully when this big bear awakes, there will be plenty of cupcakes, coffee, and wine before you go speeding down tiny town to go catch the next drag race.