Soon. . .Borders Closed, Readers Hosed

Not yet. But soon…

Borders bookstore has announced that they will be closing their remaining 399 stores, putting 10,000+ people out of work and many cities without a place to read. More importantly, holy balls, Clarksville is losing Borders!

I like the Clarksville Borders, period. As much as I rabble rabble about this and that, Borders was a clean square in a poo-covered tapestry. Their selection of books is surprisingly good, as is their array of magazines. They’re always relatively well-organized, even when they’d throw me off with their complete redesigns. The staff has always been friendly, pointing me in the right direction or asking how I’m doing (although a bit too pushy with the rewards program garbage). The coffee shop is adequate (and once again very friendly), and the free Wi-Fi pulls in all the low-income students and their laptops.

Borders even has random anthromorphic mascots like Winnie the Pooh and creepy latina girl that stop by and scare kids on Saturdays.

Sure, Borders has its issues. Greasy mallrats trollop through the store showing off their asstastic ringtones on their Cricket phones. They think they’re at the library at school so they need to be obnoxiously ignorant so their friends don’t think they caught the dreaded disease called “education”. Pretentiously dressed Army dudes tend to meander in the philosophy books a bit too long, possibly trying to obtain an elusive hook-up with a clueless student in her second semester at APSU. And as much as I brag about the book selection, my success rate has probably hovered around 70 percent when looking for a specific title–i.e. off to Amazon!

But I could overlook all the flaws. Not sure how other Borders compared, but Clarksville’s seemed to be booming. Now the Governor’s Square Mall is doomed to get something stupid like a giant sprawling leather coat shop or better yet…NOTHING. Borders was one of the few reasons I went to the mall, and the list is now even shorter.

“Hold up Clarky, what about Books-A-Million?” Well, I would agree that their selection of books is actually pretty comparable (and their magazines are actually more numerous). But B-A-M could be one of the least organized bookstores I’ve ever been in. It’s like I walked into a store ran by a family of crazy cat owners and A&E Hoarders rejects. Finding a book makes me feel like Indiana Jones, like I just killed several Nazis and solved an ancient Incan puzzle to reach this holy grail. I’ll definitely shop there, but it just isn’t the same. Hastings…well, yeah. It’s Hastings. Borders would always be sending me 20-30 percent off coupons, which I was more than happy to use.

I hope that somehow Barnes and Noble will magically decide to take up shop in the mall. But that may be wishing too much, what with all the other things Clarksville’s been begging for. It’s a sad time for readers in Clarksville, but especially children. As much as kids bother me, I could always appreciate them picking up books and reading in the store. At least more than seeing the bastards grab beer hats and sex toys at Spencer’s.

I’ll keep buying books from Amazon, or downloading them onto my PC/iPad. But it won’t be the same in Clarksville without Borders. I’m sure somewhere the store manager is wrapped up on her couch watching “You’ve Got Mail”.


  1. Fred

    Classic! I will miss borders they actually served Seattles Best coffee also and had better service than at Starbucks across the street with all the customers who sit for 4 hours in line and then still cant order their double shot crapachino when they get to the counter without asking a bunch of questions about drinks they will never try but just want to look chic

  2. Clarky McClarksville (Post author)

    Yeah I’ll miss the Seattle’s Best. Too bad they couldn’t find a nice joint to set up in.

  3. angie

    For some reason I thought the closing of an actual book store in Crapsville would largely go unnoticed.

  4. The Aristocrat

    I dug the coffee there….I loved borders…they helped satisfy my addiction to coffee table books….

  5. Blogwiser

    Well, look at the bright side. The fourteen people in Clarksville who still read now have even more incentive to go over to the dark side. Think how many tattoos and spinner tires the ‘literate fourteen’ can buy with all that money they used to spend on books.

  6. Jeffery Lebowski

    Looks like we have ourselves some readers….

  7. M.Mraz

    Boarders was the only thing in that mall worth going to. Maybe now they will turn Governors Square Mall into a giant food court.

  8. J. Blow

    This really makes me sad. Borders was the ONLY reason I went to the mall (if that’s what you want to call that place). I guess it’s Books-a-Million for me from now on…unless Barnes and Noble is crazy enough to open up here. It’s too early to tell.

  9. waa day

    I will miss them but I always went to BAM…less teenagers….less soldiers

  10. LC_SUCKS

    Lessee, I can fight the horribly shitty traffic in the mall area, pay the $4.00 a gallon for over-priced gas, fight my way thru the rival gangbangers roaming the mall parking lot, swim the sea of snot-nosed teens and tweens with pants sagging down around my knees wandering the inside of the mall, to reach a shitty, over-priced bookstore…

    …or I can pay a 1/3 of the price to download an eBook to my iPad in about 15 seconds while pouring a tasty adult beverage into a frosty cold mug to walk the 25 steps to sit next to my pool to relax and enjoy. One can only wonder why Borders went tits-up.

    I do however, enjoy the sweet irony of a large bookstore chain who most likely bankrupted more mom n’ pop bookstores than any other oversized, cookie-cutter walmart wannabe meeting its demise in the same manner. There is a god…

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