Tosh.0 Redemption Rapper Coming to Clarksville? Oh shi…

Holy balls.

If you’ve never heard of “Iron Mic” Eli Porter, then you’re probably a normal human that doesn’t spend 80% of their day on the Internet watching YouTube videos. If you need a brief primer, Eli is a rapper, infamous for this video rap battle. This video launched a million images and jokes, like these:

No he’s not mentally handicapped (although his album IS titled “Intelligently Retarded“), and he’s quite capable of holding a normal-ish conversation. His Internet infamy got him all the way to an episode of Tosh.0 where he received a redemption segment:

But enough with the intro people. ELI IS COMING TO CLARKSVILLE, TENNESSEE. Saturday, February 11, Eli will be performing at Kell’s Night Club. Apparently he’ll be there with other zany named rappers like “Money Mancino” and “DJ Krispy Kreme”(no relation).

So there you have it. An Internet “celebrity” is headed to a scary club on Ft. Campbell Blvd. Here’s the funny thing though. I didn’t see this on the Leaf or anywhere normal. I just happened to be browsing YouTube looking for Clarksville vids (the best way to get a news scoop) when I saw this…

Apparently she is “Fire”, the woman with the Rooms2Go end table-sized posterior. She apparently will also be “making it hot” with Eli. Being in February, this should be helpful.

So that interesting video led me to the man himself talking about the upcoming show:


I really don’t know where to begin. Why is there a waterfall? Why is it louder than your voice? Was that a car alarm going off? MY GOD MAN…did no one suggest a second take of the video, maybe with a microphone or inside a room without 300 decibels of background noise?

Eli, I criticize because I love. Our humble village of Clarksville is flattered that you would grace us with your presence. Please enjoy yourself, duck when you hear gun fire, and try out one of our many Chinese buffets. Also, please feel free to give a video shout-out to your “boys” at We need all the help we can get 🙂

Readers, if you get any good video footage of this performance, PLEASE feel free to send it our way.

Eli Porter will be at Kell’s Night Club on February 11th, located at 2043 Ft. Campbell Boulevard.

1 Comment

  1. HappywaffleJedifannypack

    This has got to be one of the greatest things I have ever seen in this town. It’s like Daniel Johnston and Wesley Willis had a baby that listened to way too much NWA. I hope there are a lot of big asses and 40’s malt liquor at this event.

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