Stand By Your Man (Like An Idiot)


How do you say “I’m f**ked” in French?

Mary Vossler, can you help me out?

This former French major (wow, really?) at APSU was needing to know that on Tuesday when she was sentenced to 8 years in prison for firing up her husband’s PC full of kiddie porn.

Back in October 2009, Vossler set her computer ON FIRE in her apartment, which got her a little ol’ arrest for arson and vandalism. But this was just the tip of the iceberg (or fireberg), as it had more to do with her husband’s earlier arrest. He alledgedly pushed a 6-year old girl into his apartment and took off her jacket and shoes. I’m sure he was just trying to be like Mr. Rogers…a giant pedo-Rogers. Luckily the girl was released unharmed.

Hi neighbor...where do you think you're going?

But back to the PC. Authorities were able to scrounge up files of molested and sexually exploited kids on the burnt hard drive. Some of the files suggested the kids were as young as 4-8 years of age. Yikes…
But it looks like before we can light him up for that, we’ll have to wait for Alabama to finish, since he is presently in jail for alledgedly touching a 3-year old that he was babysitting.

Wow, what a winner.

But I would argue that the bigger winner is his wife Mary, who inexplicably decided to destroy evidence that her husband was a terrible human being. Plugging up your ears and yelling “LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU MOLESTING CHILDREN” is not a good defense in court. She’s not a spring chicken (or Kenny Roger’s Roaster), but she surely could have found a man that wasn’t a sexual deviant.

Also, congratulations on not knowing how computers work. She looks like the fat, losery type of person that watches CSI:Miami, New York, and Cadiz, Kentucky. So it seems like she would know that you can’t just set a hard drive on fire and walk away feeling secure. I mean, investigators are good…look at this for proof:

So she was originally charged with arrested for 107 counts of sexual exploitation, but “got away” with a lesser charge of facilitation of possession of child pornography, along with arson and vandalism.

I know we joke that spouses in this area aren’t faithful, but sometimes you just gotta walk away…
JUST. WALK. AWAY.

1 Comment

  1. Marcie Beasley

    Gross.

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