For a town with a shortage of women, there sure are a metric assload of female-staffed bro-restaurants in Clarksville. The latest entry is the Tilted Kilt, conveniently nooked and crannied between Outback Steakhouse and O’Charley’s.
The restaurant might be hidden, but holy shit…the Titantron TV sign on the side of the road is impossible to miss. It blows out your peripheral vision with bare midriffs, blonde servers, and unassuming white guys gawking over their MGD’s.
But instead of reading buckets of adjectives and expletives, here’s my review summarized in one video:
BUT HOW CAN THIS BE? Well, now that you’ve seen our immediate unrefined thoughts, lemme count the ways they jacked up our table.
- The garlic fries we ordered were regular fries…twice
- After everyone else received their food, the waitress informed the last diner at our table that they were out of what she ordered. Damn, it’s pretty awkward having everyone else eat around one lonely starving (and foodless) person.
- Five to six bucks for a beer. Uh, am I at the Opryland hotel? (Yes, I’m aware every Bro-diner in Clarksville has the same awful pricing.)
- I had the fish and chips, which tasted like an adult-sized Kid Cuisine.
- Someone else at our table had the meat loaf sandwich, which looked like it was assembled from several smaller and sadder meat loafs. I guess to give it that Scottish feel, they wanted to make the sandwich look like the beheaded skull of William Wallace. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
- The Titans lost during our meal, which I can only assume is the Tilted Kilt’s fault as their sad food must have telepathically depressed the players on the field.
- MY KINGDOM FOR A GLASS OF WATER!!
I think that many people (i.e. horny young men) might be able to gloss over some of these issues. But it was just too much fail, too quickly. In addition, the painfully high bill didn’t justify the painfully low level of food.
Wait, was there anything positive? Sure…the environment is nice. I prefer the lower lighting, comfortable seating, and slightly quieter TV’s to arena discos of sound like the ones at Buffalo Wild Wings. The waitress was nice, but obviously still struggling with the kitchen staff and new menu.
Bottom line–I’ll try it again. But it won’t be for a few months. They need to reeducate or flush out their kitchen staff. Because that’s what seems to be holding the restaurant back. Although the fact that we had such a huge amount of issues with no manager feedback tells me the management might be piss-poor as well…