The Tilted Kilt – WAIT.

For a town with a shortage of women, there sure are a metric assload of female-staffed bro-restaurants in Clarksville. The latest entry is the Tilted Kilt, conveniently nooked and crannied between Outback Steakhouse and O’Charley’s.

Ready to bro it up!

The restaurant might be hidden, but holy shit…the Titantron TV sign on the side of the road is impossible to miss. It blows out your peripheral vision with bare midriffs, blonde servers, and unassuming white guys gawking over their MGD’s.

 

But instead of reading buckets of adjectives and expletives, here’s my review summarized in one video:

BUT HOW CAN THIS BE?  Well, now that you’ve seen our immediate unrefined thoughts, lemme count the ways they jacked up our table.

 

  • The garlic fries we ordered were regular fries…twice
  • After everyone else received their food, the waitress informed the last diner at our table that they were out of what she ordered. Damn, it’s pretty awkward having everyone else eat around one lonely starving (and foodless) person.
  • Five to six bucks for a beer. Uh, am I at the Opryland hotel?  (Yes, I’m aware every Bro-diner in Clarksville has the same awful pricing.)
  • I had the fish and chips, which tasted like an adult-sized Kid Cuisine.
  • Someone else at our table had the meat loaf sandwich, which looked like it was assembled from several smaller and sadder meat loafs.  I guess to give it that Scottish feel, they wanted to make the sandwich look like the beheaded skull of William Wallace.  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
  • The Titans lost during our meal, which I can only assume is the Tilted Kilt’s fault as their sad food must have telepathically depressed the players on the field.
  • MY KINGDOM FOR A GLASS OF WATER!!



I think that many people (i.e. horny young men) might be able to gloss over some of these issues. But it was just too much fail, too quickly.  In addition, the painfully high bill didn’t justify the painfully low level of food.

 

 

Wait, was there anything positive? Sure…the environment is nice. I prefer the lower lighting, comfortable seating, and slightly quieter TV’s to arena discos of sound like the ones at Buffalo Wild Wings. The waitress was nice, but obviously still struggling with the kitchen staff and new menu.

 

Bottom line–I’ll try it again. But it won’t be for a few months. They need to reeducate or flush out their kitchen staff. Because that’s what seems to be holding the restaurant back. Although the fact that we had such a huge amount of issues with no manager feedback tells me the management might be piss-poor as well…

3 Comments

  1. DonTrotter'sGhost

    They’ve had them down here for a while, and the food won’t get better dude. Even at peak, it’s bad. Unlike Hooter’s, which actually does have tasty (if not overpriced) chicken to go with your side of boob-ogling, the TK always tastes exactly like what it is: Mostly pre-packaged garbage. O’Charley’s food is twice as good, and that’s saying a LOT.

    Service? Never had good service there either. The waitresses are not stupid at these places, and just like girls at the strip clubs that these girls have too much dignity to work at, they know how to keep a payday mark or a horny middle-aged regular happy with shoulder rubs, accidental side-boob brushes, and flirty conversation and ignore anyone dumb enough to bring their wife or kids in.

    The idea here is not to provide anything resembling a passable dining experience, it’s to sell low,-cost high-margin food by the metric fuckton so that young and old hornballs alike – who will show up in droves – spend a ton on undvalued crap. In turn, the franchisEE AND the franchisER have more profits to split and the waitresses will be literally stuffing wads of sweaty dollars into paper sacks at the end of the night while maintaing only one small notch of dignity over the girls out on Ft. Campbell blvd.

    I like boobies as much as the next guy, but TK is a joke. At least at the titty club I can get a geniune lapdance while I eat my dried out faux-Scottish McNuggets from the buffet.

  2. ClarksvilleNative

    I couldnt agree more! I had the stew and it wasnt much better than my dogs Old Roy soft dog food. I doubt I will ever go back. Our order was messed up three times and just about every bit of food that came out the kitchen was brought to our table even though it wasnt ours. Overall, I wont go back unless I HAVE to. Hooters is SO much better with just as good a view!

  3. Cecil Saxon

    I went when they first opened and it was OK. It sounds like they pulled some of their initial launch support or had staff turnover and the experience has suffered. I could not get over the waitress attire though. I saw more skin covered in a few bars in Korea. I was really feeling sorry for the waitresses, but figured they already had low self esteem and probably felt sorry enough for themselves.

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